Star Wars Haiku

I never did complete this but I began (and made some decent progress) on writing the story of the original Star Wars movie (Episode IV A New Hope) in haiku form.

Here it is thus far

A long time ago
In a galaxy far, far
Away…yup, Star Wars!

Leia trying to
Deliver secret plans for
The mighty Death Star

Da da da da da
Da da da da… Darth Vader
And Storm Troopers board

Leia, acting fast,
Gives the secret plans to a
Droid: R2D2

Vader captures her
But R2D2 escapes
With C3PO
Their escape pod is
Detected but allowed to leave
Due to no life forms

They land on the hot
sandy planet: Tatooine
The droids start walking

Tatooine is hot
The Jawas roam to and fro
Looking for lost droids

Jawas capture both
C3P0 and R2
And sell them to Luke

Luke Skywalker lives
With his Uncle Owen and
Aunt Beru. They farm.

While cleaning R2
Leia’s hidden message plays
“She is beautiful”

Luke tells R2 to
Play the message one more time
But R2 declines.

“I want to leave this
Year for the Academy”
Luke whines to Owen

“Only one more year”
Owen replies. Luke storms off,
Very frustrated

“Where are you going?”
“Nowhere, it looks like,” he whines.
Beru tells Owen,

“You can’t keep him here
Forever, he’s too much like
His father, you know”

Owen swallows hard.
“That is what I’m afraid of”
He tells Aunt Beru

R2D2 leaves
For Obiwan Kenobi
To give the message

Luke finds the droid gone
And vows that in the morning
He will find R2

Luke and Threepio
Race off in his Landspeeder
To look for R2

Luke, to his head, gets
A whack from one of the strange
Sandpeople creatures

Old Ben comes to save
Luke, Threepio, and R2
From the Sandperson

Luke asks Ben about
This Obiwan Kenobi
Does Ben know this guy?

“That’s a name I’ve not
Heard for a very long time”
Ben responds to Luke

“Know him? Yes I do.
He’s me.” Ben reveals to Luke.
“Let’s go to my cave”

Kenobi works on
R2 to see the message
Soon, it does appear

“Gen’ral Kenobi,
Years back, you helped my father,
During the Clone Wars.

“I have hidden plans
To the Empire’s Death Star
On this little droid

“It’s our darkest hour.
Help, Obiwan Kenobi,
You’re my only hope.”

Ben shows Luke his dad’s
Old lightsaber. He says Luke
Should do what seems best

Luke, Ben, the two droids,
Head off and find dead Jawas
Killed by Storm Troopers

Luke worries that if
the droids were traced this far, they
could be traced to…”Home!”

He races off but
Finds his uncle and aunt dead
And so he is sad

Ben’s comforting words,
“There’s nothing you could have done,
They’d have killed you too”

Luke, no longer has
Ties to Tatooine so he
Agrees to join Ben

Luke, Ben, and the Droids
Head off for the dangerous
Space port: Mos Eisley

Before entering
They are stopped at a checkpoint
Manned by Storm Troopers

They are looking for
The droid with the secret plans.
It’s R2 they want.

Old Ben waves his hand
Saying, “these are not the droids
You are looking for.”

The lead Storm Trooper
Replies, “These are not the droids
We are looking for.”

Old Ben continues,
“Move along” and the Trooper
Replies, “Move along”

Unbeknownst to him
He has experienced the
Jedi Mind Trick

Ben and Luke enter
A Cantina where Luke gets
Picked on by a guy

Ben has to use his
Lightsaber to protect Luke
And kills the guy dead

Han and Chewbacca
Meet with Guido who’s trying
To collect the debt

Han Solo owes to
The big lug, Jaba the Hut.
Han shoots Green Guido

Ben bargains with Han
For transport to Alderon
For the four of them

Han and Chewy fly
The Millennium Falcon,
A smuggling ship

Meanwhile, Darth Vader
Is not having much success
Questioning Leia

She claims she is on
A diplomatic mission
Where to? Alderon.

Back on the Falcon
They make the hyperspace jump
And relax a while

C3PO Learns
That it’s advisable to
Let a Wookie win

The way that he learns
Is by Chewy partially
Pulling off his arm

Luke gets a lesson
In lightsaber use from Ben.
He’s not good at first

Han is not impressed.
He likes to use a blaster
To dispatch his foes

Back on the Death Star
Grand Moff Tarkin and Vader
Keep Grilling Leia

“A Deomonstration,”
Tarkin suggests, “Shall we blow
Up Leia’s home world?”

“No!” Leia cries out
Alderson is a peaceful
Planet, don’t do it!

“Fine, I’ll tell you
What you want. Dantoonie is
Where the rebels are.”

“Good, Good,” Now Let’s Blow
Alderson up Anyway, “
Evil Tarkin says

Obiwan has a
Pain, as if from bad, bad gas
What could be the cause?

“A disturbance in
The Force, as if millions cried
Out, then fell silent”

The Falcon drops out
Of hyoerspace but they do
not find Alderon

Two TIE Fighters Greet
Them, so what does TIE stand for?
Twin Ion Engined.

They are no match for
The Millennium Falcon
And are shot down dead.